Information for Families

Transitioning to Middlebury

• First and foremost, know that your student is going to miss you!  And you are going to miss your student! Talk about how you are going to communicate with each other—and how frequently—so that everyone has the same expectations and no one has hurt feelings. And understand that this might change over the course of your student’s first semester away. You might not get a reply to every message sent, and that is okay. Don’t forget, you can always send care packages to let your student know you are thinking of them.   
   
• Chances are, you will receive a tearful phone call home during the first few weeks. It may be that your student needs to get some emotions off their chest, and you are likely the person they feel most comfortable doing this with. Many students pressure themselves to appear “perfect” for their professors and peers, which is both exhausting and incredibly unrealistic. (Listen to this short interview Why College Freshmen May Feel Like Impostors On Campus.)
   
• Remember, your student is here to learn and was admitted to Middlebury College because we know they can be successful! The best thing you can do is listen and offer perspective. 

How We Share Information 

In accordance with the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), all Middlebury College students have the right to keep their educational records private. While this means that parents and families of Middlebury College students no longer have access to information that they may have been accustomed to receiving, rest assured that your student is in the best hands. 

As a general rule, Middlebury College officials will only share information with a student’s parents or guardians when there is a real and imminent concern for safety, when there has been a change in a student’s academic status, or when an involuntary or medical change of a student’s academic status appears likely.

Examples of what this communication might look like:

• Being copied on an email as a follow up to a pattern of alcohol or drug violations or a hospital transportation resulting from alcohol or drug use.
• An email alerting you that your student has received course advisories in 2 or more courses or that they have received a course advisory when they are currently on Academic Probation.
• Being copied on an email notifying a student that they are on Academic Probation or that they have been withdrawn from the college due to Academic Failure.
• Being copied on an email confirming that a student has elected to take a Leave of Absence.
• Direct outreach from a college official to discuss concern about a student’s immediate health or safety.
• When a student has been found responsible for a conduct violation resulting in official college discipline. 

Students also have the right to request that we not share the above information with specific people when there is a concern for their safety through the sharing of this information. In these instances, we typically honor the students’ request and withhold the sharing of information.

Emergencies

College officials will share a student’s emergency contact information with our local health agencies when a student has been transported there for care and there is a significant medical concern.

Student Requests to Share Information

Students who would like to have their grades shared with family members should follow up in-person with the Office of the Registrar. These requests must be done in person, and it must be evident that the student is acting of their own free-will. Middlebury College does not calculate or report formal midterm grades.

Supporting Students

While it may feel unsettling to no longer have access to your students’ records and information, rest assured that we understand that many students are taking on the responsibility of independently managing their academic success and health for the first time when they arrive on our campus. Because of this, we take a developmental approach in our work with students, preferring to do things “with them” as opposed to “for them” when they are facing challenges or concerns. Our goal for students is that by the time they graduate from Middlebury, they will have gained the skills and knowledge to independently navigate their lives after college.

If You Have a Concern 

Deans in our Center for Student Success are available to discuss student concerns, but we prefer to have students be full participants in these conversations. When a student is not present, a Dean can share general information about campus resources and college policy or take notes on information that is shared with them about a student, but they will not share information specific to any student. Deans will not engage in conversations with the assurance that these conversations will be kept private from the student.

Health professionals in our Center for Health and Wellness are also able to consult about health resources, but they will likewise not share private health information about a student without the student’s full participation and consent absent any immediate concerns for safety.

Should you have concerns about a student’s immediate health, safety or well-being, you can connect with a college official at any time by calling the Office of Public Safety at 802-443-5911. In the event of a life-threatening emergency, we advise calling 911 directly.

When Problems Arise

If it does seem as though there is a problem that needs to be addressed, try to approach your conversation objectively. Instead of telling your student what to do, ask them about the campus resources that are available.  

• “Have you reached out to your Residence Director to ask for help with your roommate issues?”
• “Are you attending your professor’s office hours for help with an assignment or course material?” (Office hours are listed on the course syllabus, department website and their professor’s office door.)
• “Have you made an appointment at the Center for Teaching, Learning and Research for help with time management, study skills, writing, foreign language, math or discipline specific tutoring?”
• “Have you thought about meeting with a health coach for help with healthy sleep habits, eating patterns, or relationships in their new environment?”
• “Have you reached out to the Disability Resource Center to discuss and activate academic or residential accommodations?” (These supports work best when they are put in place early so that students aren’t struggling to find paperwork when their classes are in full swing.)

Tempering Expectations

Students tend to attach high expectations to their first year of college. This can lead to an unrealistic view of what college should be like. Help your student temper expectations by letting them know that it takes everyone a while to settle in and connect with new friend groups. Once on campus, encourage your student to reach out to classmates to form study groups, participate in floor meetings so they can meet the people they are living with, and check out clubs and student activities to find others with similar interests. And if possible, avoid the phrase “these are the best years of your life,” which can unwittingly reinforce the perception that students have to be “perfect” to belong.

Your Opinion Matters

Your opinion of your student matters more than you may realize, and your student does not want to disappoint you. 

It can be tempting to ask about grades and intended majors, but it is important to recognize just how much change happens these first few years of college. Instead of focusing on performance, ask about the big ideas that your student is learning about in class and how their understanding of these ideas has changed over time. 

A great question to ask is:

“If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be and why?”

Research shows that students who are focused on these big picture ideas—and who value process over performance—do better academically than those who think they must identify a major and career early in their education or be good at something before they’ve had a chance to learn it. It is also perfectly natural for students to change majors and career goals and feel uncertain about it along the way. Having a source of judgment-free support that they can check in with during these times of uncertainty can give students the confidence they need to take advantage of new opportunities and formulate new goals without second guessing themselves.

Self-Care

Make time to have some important conversations with your student about self-care, sexual readiness, sexual assault, and alcohol and drug use before they leave for Middlebury—and while they are here. Our Center for Health and Wellness has several programs related to these topics, but an initial conversation from you might help your student better understand the importance of them. This article from Psychology Today offers ideas for what you might want to discuss.

Planning Travel

One final piece of practical advice.  Please wait to book flights and make travel arrangements for students to return home until after the final exam schedule is out and students know their finalized schedules.  Many professors schedule exams on the last class before extended breaks (even Thanksgiving) and Deans are unable to move exams, including final exams, based on travel plans.  Save your student from this unnecessary anxiety by waiting to book those nonrefundable tickets!